My Blog

Tomorrow ( Full Metal Panic )

Together, searching for shelter,We ran in the rainEven if I lose something,There's just one thingThat I have to protect

I'll go search with youFor the meaning of my birth in this worldEven while wounded,Let's find,The new scenery

I shaded myself from the setting sunThe prism of my fingertips reflected orangeFor your sake,I want to become so kindThat almost everything else about me could be forgiven

The light that overflows this worldGathers in my handsIlluminating the darknessSo I won't lose sight of the long road 

I'll go search with youFor the meaning of my birth in this worldEven while wounded,Let's goEven further onTo find the new scenery

You know I’ve heard it said there’s beauty in distortion,by some people who’ve withdrawn to find their heads. Now they say that there is humor in misfortune
You know I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead ???
you know some people say that values are subjective,but they’re just speaking words that someone else has said.
And so they live and fight and kill with no objective. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the living from the dead.

Why am I fighting to live if I ‘m just living to fight? Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try? Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?

you know I used to weave my words into confusion and so I hope you’ll understand me when I ‘m through
You know I used to live my life as an illusion, But reality will make my dreams come true.

So I’ll keep fighting to live till there’s no reason to fight
And I’ll keep trying to see until the end is in sight
You know I’m trying to give so c’mon give me a try
You know I’m dying to live until I’m ready to die

It’s been a long time since my last blog… Ummm what’s new? Lots J ! Well I feel kinda lonely… Sometimes it’s sad if you found that the people u care doesn’t give a damn bout u hehehe… some peoples afraid loosing clients than loosing friends, others stay close because of the money, hey that’s life, truth hurts, graffiti kills, people die.

How do I found out? Piece of cake… It’s like an “accident”. Coming out of nowhere.. and bam! It crushes u! I’m always give “space” for accidents and something like that. I’m not looking for revenge, just sad… Nothing’ more… May God bless u. But do people always like that? Most… Yes, because the “I”. The “I” is causing the entire problem. The “I “make me sad. The “I” made me forget “Us”. It’s all bout me, me, me.

Imagine there’s no “I” or “You”… Everything’s are “We” or “Our”, there’s no ego that kept us away from the light of God. A Wiseman said we must clear our hearts like the face of a mirror. The different is the heart conceals secrets while the mirror does not.

For d last four weeks a met a friend who has similar dream like me. We talked bout all religion, syariah, God, angels, demons, phew… One thing that interests me is about soul, how it sleeps in our heart, how it’s connected 2 God, how it tells us our mission in live and d most important is how can we wake our souls? He gave me a book, a very good one (thanks man!) that shows me steps, way, clue, of a divine knowledge that opens my eye. God, we have eyes but we didn’t see, we have ear but we didn’t hear, so please help us.

After I finished the book, and reviews bout it, we realized that it’s a hell of a war! There’s nothing fierce more than the wars within! It’s the

Karbala

!. It’s easy if we go 2 wars and get killed, or killed ourselves and die. But it’s not that hat simple. When u has the war within u, u feel like dying but u still live… Aww that’s hurt. The enemy is within you. They are attachments.

For those who can’t lose the attachments is never going to know the destiny. So God, let them know that… money comes and go but hearts forever, clients come and go but friends forever, I come and go but Love forever, World come and go… soul is forever.

And For those who forgot… God is forever

Let the journey, begins…

Okioki

November 06

remember the nite we sat, and talk about all our dreams?

a little bit we know then, they were distance than it seems.

well, i knew it and u knew it 2. Are We know the thing we got to do? to make it?

you gotta cry tough, out on the streets, to make your dreams happen..

you gotta cry out, out to the world, to make them all come true..

life ain’t no easy ride, at least that ’s what i’m told..

sometimes the rainbow better than a part of gold..

U gotta stick it out! weather your wrong or rite..

And u can’t give in without a fight..

you gotta cry tough, out on the streets, to make your dreams happen..

you gotta cry out, out to the world, to make them all come true..

U gotta aim yr heart before u loose or win..

and when u get to the top.. u gotta get up and get right back down again

cheers

okiokiokiokiokiokiokiokiokiokiokiokiokioki

my weekend sucks! starting last friday when i bought clothes in metro, suddenly the debit machine got jammed and it said that i’ve enter the wrong pin number 4 the 3rd time.. hiks. so look at my walet and see IDR 50.000 …gubrak! minus parking tiket.. bla bla.. and i got IDR 25.000 4 sat and sun..

i cant ask anyone out, cant even afford 2 buy gas.  i went 2 the bank and it closed.. hey its saturday.. and then i tried 2 figure out how am i gonna spend my time this weekend…. hiks hiks.

*the following scenes happens between 8am to 9am, saturday

well starting with.. no woman.. i cant ask anyone out.. i would loved 2 but i cant say this thing. well there’s a girl i wanted 2 ask but.. naaaaaa.. that wasnt a good idea. she probabably went with her friends (or boyfriend..) anyway… even if she said yes that would b another problem 2 let her buy everything.. man’s ego.. hihihi. so i let my self stay @ home.. alone.. hiks hiks

*the following scenes happens between 9am to 10am

and then next chapter.. no money.. 2 days, IDR 25.000 hmmmm what can i do? nasi padang, ciggarettes are 25.000/day. ok i can survive saturday, but sunday? gheeez.. hey there are indomie..  but 2 days? well do i have a choice? here we go with indomie yeaaaa… i still have IDR 25.000.

*the following scenes happens between 10am to 11am

saturday, i went 2 the bank.. closed.. confirm got no money, pay d parking tickt 4 IDR 2000.. went back.. thinkin’ .. hopelles.. cash inventory IDR 23.000.. hey i still had some old movies on dvd.. why not?

*the following scenes happens between 11am to 11pm..( 12 hours??)

watching old movies and playstation.. got a new game soul calibur.. and 24 hehehe thats good. cant get hungry if play. and then sleep zzzzzz….

*the following scenes happens between 9am to 10am, sunday

still play 24 and guess what.. the cd’s not wrking.. damn! im in the middle off it.. got 2 buy it.. just 2 pass time till monday.. i was so upset.. still got IDR 23.000

*the following scenes happens between 10am to 11am, sunday

i buy new 24 games for IDR 16000 (2disk?), and IDR 2000, parking ticket and got back.. cash left IDR 6000… phew..

*11.30pm .. mission accomplished..  play PS2 for more than 16hours and 6hours old movies.. fun! but dont wanna do this anymore hahahahaha

*3.30 pm, monday

ara, i know u reading this.. jd g mo dikenalin ma sapa? hahahaha.. teuteup..

cheers

okioki

mornin comes 2 early, nitetimes falls 2 late. sometimes all i want 2 do is wait. that lyrics from dream theatre really hits me. sometimes d more u know bout a thing the more complicated d thing is. its very hard 2 make it simple unless u can see the "big picture" or "main frame" of this crazy things called life. of course knowing and realizing is 1 big different.

i used this long weekends 2 talk with my bestfriends,sharing, introspection, from religion, bussines, music, perspective, not bad 2 pass time after my teeth surgery.. phew. i think i’ve climb a little higher, so in the "new" state of mind we have 2 make adjustment of all the "truth" that we always believin. 2 much information comes around my head, sometimes u win sometimes u loose, another makes u surprise. all the reality leads us 2 one thing .. money. sometimes they use power to gain money or vice versa. depends on the culture.

what about justice? i think there’s none. or at least all of d situation is just happen. it’s nothing about justice. justice in this world is created by man so it cant be pure justice. i’m very sad when all the conversation leads us 2 .. MONEY. shocking truth.

everyone needs money of course. i need it 2 :). but the way they gain money sometimes ridiculous. and it happen in all country. they use it in the name of capitalism, komunism, religion, aid, and all the good mask u can find name it!.. that’s why there’s war, poverty, hunger, stop! who am i thinkin bout that stuff. why cant i think bout that stuff? cause it also happen in small part of our life, our company, our system, everydays life. Well at least i havent heard sumethin bad about green peace. but where do they get the money from? dunno..

is this the world we created, we make it on our own. is this the world we devastaded right through d bone. If there’s a God in the sky looking down, What can he think of what we’ve done to the world that He created?

Is this the world we created? What did we do it for?Is this the world we invaded? Against the law?So it seems in the end, Is this what we’re all living for today?The world that we created

is there any place different? " you wont find it here, look another way, you wont find it there, so die another day.."

end

Friday nite.. 1st step to build an imagenery organization has been done. Just as I expected, we had lots of laugh.. and we decide to meet next friday. Just as i expected, not all of them come.. hey i’ve been done this 1000’s o time. But i’m so happy just to feel their energy. They got nothin’ 2 loose :).

Well guys, thank u very very much 4 be there that nite. It also means a lot 2 me. cant do it without u guys, like i said b4.. it’s still a long long way, 100 steps, and this is only d 1st step. hope we still can do it 2gether 4 99 more hahaha.

The chemistry was good, full of fun stuff :D.. so alive.. hey we’re old hihihihi. and then one’s ask.. "what’s our name?" .. because i like 2 turn logic upside down, back  forward.. so i said ….

cheers

okioki

it’s been a hell of a week, so many thing’s 2 do phew.. so i take a little rest after gave PR news to magazine. Walked around PSenayan.. uh so many preety girls ya and then i went 2 MUFE counters 2 get sales report and then round around again with 1000 thing’s in my mind.

well, still lots of preety girl and i can’t help thinkin’ that they’re just flesh and blood.. so many people but less soul. thank God there’s blood on their veins. They look alive, kickin, preety 2 :). doesn’t matter if they have souls or not hahahaha. wonder what they lookin’ for? a rose 2 smiles up  d day? a light 2 brighten d  days? they’re so happy .. or not?

It’s been 20 minutes, and mind still flew away. and then i realized that we all have energy 2 keep awake in the morning.. of course. the blood carries everything inside of us. that’s why they so preety hehehehe.

It’s d spirit of rebel, fire, bravery, anger, survivor, that drives people 2 survive (the way they realized it or not). the blood circulated through all our body and gives us energy to think, decide. Hey ,what a soul can do without blood hahahaha. For many years from ancient times blood is the icon of living. Vampires drink blood :p, Some ritual used blood sacrifices ;P , some culture said that blood is the place for  d soul.. even in church.. they simbolize the wine with .. blood. Why? i dont know.. i dont write histories. It will always burnin’ since the world been turnin (billy joel).

Blood has similar symbol with fire. wonder what do they have in comment? hmmm, their both represent the living, the movement, love, changes, what else? and that’s why almost all nations have the same colour on their flag :D.

And then my eyes catches a very beautifull view.. very preety.. beautiful body.. I came and touched my finger around. i touch the body.. very smooth.. so clean.. sound so sweet.. damn i’m in love.. makes me alive.. i feel the energy.. so strong.. we talked about every details.. so smart.. damn i cant think.. the feelings, cant hold it much longer.. gotta take it home. Hey! the other me said " you have it already! why’d u want another one?" but i still cant think. Gotta have this one.. BAM! suddenly it’s on my bed hihihi.

So the bottom line is ..i’ve already have a fender stratocaster at my place, and i got another one .. and do u know why?

cheers

okioki

last friday i really have a good time with some friends o mine.. nadya, linda, pungki, meidya and ups.. forgot his name .. sorry ya mey..:D. we’re so classic (hahahaha).. we sang old rock tunes from aerosmith to whitesnake.. pop tunes from bee gees (hahahahahaha) to madonna.. and clasic disco from alphaville to mojo (huahahahaha). We all really need that moment specially nadya.. sang, drank, quite dizzy though…. and while we sang, linda and nadya doing the classic disco style from batdance to flashdance hahhahahaahhahaha!!!

every person carry a burden on each back.. i mean the job, family, realtionship etc. and that burden just 4 a moment sudennly flew away. I was thinkin’ what went wrong in our lives? hey we’re alive right? of course there always be a burden.. that what what makes us human being.. to have a responsibility, commitment, that’s normal. but why are we tryin to forgot just for a moment? hihihihi that’s also human being.

saturday night i went with anton to watch classic rock on BBS menteng, unfortunetly there’s no band until wordl cup is over.. damn! end we end up bored after talking ’bout the old times and we go somewhere else just 2 see if we still crazy as we used 2.

well, finally i find the solution to my little problem.. we have target right? since we were small, right? and suprisingly it killing us.. i mean we have target all of our lives! we have to think bout work, deadlines, etc.. but that night we dont have anything..

so to make it BALANCE i decided to do a thing with no TARGET! hahahahaha.. i’ve called a few friends o mine and ask for their support and they said YES! hahahaha.. it’s funny how they said YES!

dissy, kelly, ape, get ready! today.. VICE VERSA is born, a rock band with no target hahahahahahaha.. anyone’s welcome to join cause we HAVE NO TARGET!feel the energy, follow the motion, we got nothin to loose.. just to keep our soul balance.. get your fingers, throat & spirit ready!

OKI RETURNS!

I’m just a small town boy, livin’ in a lonely world I took the midnight train goin’ anywhere

or Just a city boy, born and raised in south of city, I took the midnight train goin’ anywhere

A singer in a smokey room, A smell of wine and cheap perfume

For a smile they can share the night It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching in the night

Streetlight people, living just to find emotion

Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill

Payin’ anything to roll the dice, just one more time

Some will win, some will lose

Some were born to sing the blues

On the movie never ends It goes on and on and on

Don’t stop believin’.. hold on to the feelin’